A Madison Avenue Haunting: Enjoli

Remember these:   I remember them. They’ve haunted me since I first saw them in the late 70s. At the time this commercial came out, the Women’s Liberation Movement was still real and fresh and new. Halter tops were all the rage, though I didn’t understand why. I was naive about certain things, yes, and when I bought one and wore it in public in a small North Georgia town we lived in, the county went nuts and my mother screamed and next thing I know it disappeared out of my dresser drawers. The Enjoli commercial version was a modification of the classic Blues Pattern song “I’m a Woman” written by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller, first recorded by Christine Kittrell and then Peggy Lee in 1962, later covered by others. Raquel Welch and Miss Piggy covered it on The Muppet Show. (Scroll to end of post to see that video.) The original song Continue reading A Madison Avenue Haunting: Enjoli

Fanatics, Extremists, RINOs, LINOs, RadFems, and Losers

With the most sincerest of apologies to Albert Hammond. You know I love you, dude. SCROLL DOWN TO READ MY LYRICS THAT SHOULD BE SUNG TO “NAMES, TAGS, NUMBERS, LABELS” by THE ASSOCIATION AND WRITTEN BY MR. HAMMOND. Names I know a man Who hates all those not of his skin He doesn’t know the spiral he’s in Fanatic Names I know a man Who hates all those not of his class He doesn’t realize he is an ass Extremist Names, tags, numbers, labels Other people preach what you must be If you’re not, they will denounce you Though you try to ignore them as a rule Indoctrination’s taught in state-run schools Tags I know a gal All men are evil and don’t interest her Oppression is her saddle burr RadFem Tags Dictator wannabees They say they are Conservative They’re looking for a House to run RINOs Names, tags, numbers, labels Other Continue reading Fanatics, Extremists, RINOs, LINOs, RadFems, and Losers

NFL, Colin, Castro, and Fans

Is NFL game viewership down? Yes. To hear some NFL spokespersons and a couple of networks spin it, it’s a typical down cycle and they were expecting it.  The Wall Street Journal reported other views: “We’re scratching our heads,” said Andy Donchin, a media buyer at Amplifi US, an ad-buying unit of Dentsu Aegis Network, whose clients include General Motors Co. “We cannot pinpoint any specific reason why the numbers are down. It is probably being caused by a confluence of events.” One reason often cited is the election. The Sept. 26 debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump drew 84 million viewers, cutting into ESPN’s “Monday Night Football.” While this Sunday’s New York Giants versus Green Bay Packers matchup on NBC will probably fare better, its ratings likely will be impacted by the head-to-head competition with the second presidential debate. Rating declines for Sunday afternoon aren’t nearly as steep as the prime-time telecasts, but Fox and CBS are down, while Continue reading NFL, Colin, Castro, and Fans

I was the first to catch his balls

When I was thirteen and new to the community, I was invited to play a Saturday afternoon game of baseball with a group of kids. Bring your gloves. Bring your bats. Of course, I had none of my own. We were very poor. But I showed up willing to play gloveless in the outfield and chase and throw. I could borrow a bat when it came my turn to swing away. The young man who did the inviting seemed to be the mover and shaker behind divvying up the teams. He looked at me and, recognizing I brought no gear, decided it was best the new girl play on the other team, that is the team he wasn’t on, and it would be best to place her at first base. No one questioned his decisions. Somebody hollered, “Righty or lefty?” When I finally realized they were talking to me, I managed Continue reading I was the first to catch his balls

Overheard at the Waffle House

1) I can’t WAIT for Obamacare to go away. 2) She wants a red Beamer. I told her she’s got to wait 13 years. 3) Oooooooh, GUUUUUURRRRRRL! You look good. You lost weight? 4) He is…he is…evil. Evil incarnate. 5) This is so much goot breakfast. They have GOOT breakfast in A-MARE-eeca.

Contrarian or simply a finely tuned chucklehead radar?

I’ve been accused of being a contrarian. That is, someone who always will take the opposite view of another just because. I can see how these folks could think that seeing as how most folks are aligned with popular opinion. See how I get along with folks? I can see their point of view and that, of course, is the problem. While I can see their point of view, they cannot see mine. Not only can they not see my view, mine is an unknown unknown to them. That is, they didn’t know there could be another view other than the one they have. Parrots don’t have opinions of their own. Parrots repeat what they hear. Parrots don’t think. So when I hear parrots my finely tuned chucklehead radar kicks in. Just because my radar kicks in does not mean I open my mouth in response. Sometimes it’s just not worth it. Let’s say I’m at a Continue reading Contrarian or simply a finely tuned chucklehead radar?

An attempt to interview a Democratic Socialist: He can’t say I didn’t try.

Six days after the 2016 presidential election wherein Donald “The Hammer” Trump won, and five days after Killery conceded the race to him, a local chapter of the Democratic Socialists of America, headed by Milton Tambor, projected a two-word phrase onto a high-rise hotel in Midtown Atlanta. As your Citizen Journalist, I read what I could find on the matter from the mainstream media, and found nothing useful. Therefore, I made calls and did research myself. My first call was to the Crowne Plaza Midtown Atlanta’s general manager, Patrick Palmer. He returned my call saying the company was not happy that their building was used as a canvas for a political message, much less one that featured the ever-popular ubiquitous F word. He further told me that attorneys advised there was nothing to be done about it as it was a free speech matter. He disagreed, but he’s not in the business of Continue reading An attempt to interview a Democratic Socialist: He can’t say I didn’t try.

“The cheapest trucks and the strongest tires.”

“The Hammer” is still Lord of the Ring. To hear the spin the New York Times put on it as they slung their tiny little arrows at him, why “The Hammer” got the shock and awe of a lifetime just from being in the ring with all the lesser luminaries from the reporter pool. Of course I, as your ever intrepid Citizen Journalist (I’ve got the hat to prove it; picture below) read every word of that interview, and guess what I found? That’s right. I found a nice section that might shed some light on the commercial truck sales market. Everybody else just breezed right by that because they’re idiots. You see how awesome I am? The reporters asked about infrastructure simply because it was on their list, but did they expect they answer they got? No, they did not. Trucks? Trucks? What are these things called trucks? And so this most Continue reading “The cheapest trucks and the strongest tires.”

No love lost on Castro

FACT: Many of who fled Cuba in 1980 during the Mariel Boatlift were Christians. They were told to get out, stay out, and don’t come back or they would be killed. Further they could not bring anything with them except the clothes they wore and maybe — just maybe — one small bag of personal items. But all their valuables had to remain in Cuba because, said Castro, it was all his anyway. Along with others, including mental patients and criminals that were costing Castro too much money to house, Christians came. These Christians came with nothing except one thing: The prospect of living in a country where they could be free to worship their Heavenly Father without fear of persecution. They came. I won’t say gladly because they had to leave the land they loved, but they came. This Citizen Journalist knows all this because she was part of a Continue reading No love lost on Castro

The Emoji Conundrum

In the interests of greater and clearer opportunities for letting one’s feelings be known, Facebook launched a new emoji pack. To the previous Like-only option, they added Love, Laugh, Wow, Sad, and Angry. This has done nothing to help this reporter better understand reactions to her writings. Case in point: This post of mine. Please note the emoji choices my friends made. Understand, I know all these people in real life. I like them. They like me. We have no issues. None are stalking me or wishing me dead, and vice versa. In other words, it’s all good. On this post I see Like, Sad, and Angry. Like is clear. But Sad? Angry? As a good reporter will, I clicked on the emoji bar to see who was Sad and who was Angry. Here’s where the conundrum begins.  My friend T— R— was Sad. S— S— was Angry. But was T— sad that Continue reading The Emoji Conundrum

Donald “The Hammer” Trump’s Official Statement about Transition as President-Elect

From ABC News as published on YouTube.com As of this writing, a transcript of the statement in this video was not available. However, you can read about “The Hammer’s” stand on the Constitution here, SCOTUS picks here, repairing our crumbling infrastructure here, and more than 10 other situation statements here. Hey, y’all, coming up in the next few days I’ve got a surprise interview that was never completed because the guy punked out on me. More details later. What a hoot.

Media Elite attend off-the-record meeting with Trump and whine he’s a meanie

A friend sent me a few links about electoral college members receiving threats to change their vote to Mizz Hill. I read them. Then I asked myself the question, “Has this happened before?” The answer was yes, and it happens just about every election cycle. Another fact: Faithless electors have never changed the outcome of an election. In other words, we’ve got a tempest in a teacup here, move along, nothing to see here, folks. Which is why I’m going to a different topic. (There’s a reward at the end. So make sure you read all the way.) Yes, the top Doms and Dominatrices of the Media Elite were invited to an off-the-record meeting with Donald “The Hammer” Trump. They thought they were there to let their client know how to play the game. But “The Hammer” spanked them instead. “Oh, he’s such a meanie!” they wailed. “Doesn’t he understand how the game is played? Continue reading Media Elite attend off-the-record meeting with Trump and whine he’s a meanie

Doing the Double-Down Two Step with a loan shark’s money

Dear Newspaper Media Elite or, as you like to call yourself, Mainstream Media, The editorial pages were invented for a reason. That’s where opinion belongs. In other parts of the paper, give facts and let readers decide for themselves. There’s a reason you are losing readers and, by extension, money and ad revenue, and have been forced to artificially inflate distribution by giving away papers for little or nothing on the side of the road. You lost me in 1994 when inches-thick coupon sections became the main feature, and editorial content pushing a liberal agenda filled the rest along with socially conscious feel-good filler to round it out. In other words, nothing my brain could chew on. Nothing that made me think. But hey, I guess you’re like a gambling addict who borrows money from the loan shark and does the old Double Down Two-Step because you just feel in your bones that this Continue reading Doing the Double-Down Two Step with a loan shark’s money

Really? Honestly? What’s the point?

“DISCLAIMER: The Resistance may include information from sources that may or may not be reliable and facts that don’t necessarily exist. All articles should be considered satirical and any and all quotes attributed to actual people complete and total baloney.”  Thus said a website whose story about Lady GaGa being spirited away in a black SUV after screaming wirty durds at Mrs. Trump and throwing something her from across the street. This particular story got a lot of play on social media as many shared it as gospel truth. Unlike your Citizen Journalist, these social media sharers did not track down the site and find all this other interesting — and very relevant — information, now did they? No they did not. Here’s more from The Resistance’s site: “We are a group of educated, God-fearing Christian conservative patriots who are tired of Obama’s tyrannical reign and ready to see a strong Republican take the White Continue reading Really? Honestly? What’s the point?

“The Hammer” slams a crooked nail. Trump’s lobbyist ban.

In my last column, I reported about Obama’s outgoing administration members’ upcoming difficulties in finding a job. There’s more bad news. According to The Washington Post’s Catherine Ho, upon his becoming president, Donald Trump’s administration will enact a five-year ban on becoming a lobbyist after one’s government tour of duty is over. Further, if one wants to join the Trump Administration and one is a lobbyist, one must quit the lobbying game, proving that by signing an affidavit that they have quit and promise to stay quit for five years. Existing rules for becoming a lobbyist after leaving government already include a cooling off period. Further, longer bans for lobbyists are not new as Obama himself did it. But Obama reversed his own ban on lobbyists after he got sued. Judge David Tatel said he wasn’t quite sure how “banning lobbyists from committees composed of representatives of the likes of Boeing and General Electric protects Continue reading “The Hammer” slams a crooked nail. Trump’s lobbyist ban.

Contract ending after eight years. Time to find a job.

Soft transitions from changover schedules aside, over 500 of Obama’s staff will be out of a job on 20 January 2017. To hear the mainstream media’s take on it, they act like this is something that has never happened before. That somehow it’s that Big Old Meanie who is kicking them to the curb. Obama seems to be acting the same since he is having the big social media companies and Linkedin come to give these 500+ the bad news about the current job market. Are these people so out of touch with the real world that they are going to have to learn how to function in it? Must be so. Of course, they’ve lived and worked in a liberally socialist bubble all these years as one of the elite who worked hard, side by side, to help Obama with all those Executive Orders. They must be so depressed now Continue reading Contract ending after eight years. Time to find a job.

Victor and Michael “Wobble” unity.

Around 2009, V.I.C.’s Beast album featured a song produced by Mr. Collipark (under the auspices of Warner Bros. Records), bringing us the iconic Wobble, a popular hip-hop line dance that took all America by storm. In this I want to thank Victor Grimmy Owusu and Michael Crooms for showing us that all races and ethnicities in America are able to get along. Since 2010, just about every week this Citizen Journalist has personally witnessed mixed crowds performing the Wobble together and in harmony on dance floors across this nation. Heck, this Citizen Journalist has even been one of the main proponents of the dance, often teaching the steps to others in the crowd. Americans of all colors, ages, income strata, religions, and of every ancestry-country hyphenation you can imagine regularly come together to Wobble. No fights have broken out. Well, there was that one time when the tipsey girl tripped and fell and everybody thought she was Continue reading Victor and Michael “Wobble” unity.

Trump knows the steps to the Poo Removal Dance.

Barack and Donald making nice for the cameras in the Oval Office should not be confused with the President-Elect’s acceptance of or agreement with the President’s massive body of unilateral unconstitutional executive orders that have thrown every taxpayer in this country under the bus. According to Marc A. Thiessen writing in The Washington Post, Obama has no one to blame but himself for having his executive orders repealed. Even now, Obama is being viewed as failing to lead as the head of a Republic because, said Thiessen, “Obama built his legacy on the sand of unilateralism, instead of the rock of bipartisan consensus.” Trump knew that if he won he was stepping into a big pile of poo. Like those of us who grew up going barefoot in the summer and know the Poo Removal Dance, The Donald knows it, too. For instance, here’s a video that shows Trump removing some Continue reading Trump knows the steps to the Poo Removal Dance.

Silly Con Valley: Forked tongue or still missing the point?

Zuckerberg was right. Fake news stories did not drive this election. However, he is wrong about what is the real problem with social media. Fake news stories masquerading as coming from real news outlets were not a driver of actual changed opinion in the election. Not one vote was changed or added. However, if anything, users became a massive research tool. Sharp-eyed Johnnies-on-the-spot, becoming adapt at spotting the suspicious clickbait stories, quotes, and headlines, were researching the source before sharing or agreeing. More and more your Citizen Journalist, that is: I, saw just how quickly Friends and Friends of Friends were posting one word: FAKE. So, yay for intelligent users of Facebook. There’s more of you than anybody expected. While admitting the fake news stories on social media did not effect the outcome of the presidential contest, like all good Liberals, Zuckerberg and others in Silly Con Valley still push the idea Continue reading Silly Con Valley: Forked tongue or still missing the point?

RadFem Rant: Trump is a four-year frat party with nukes aimed at…women!

It took a radical feminist only 460 words to tell her Facebook friends how scared the Trump win made her. I’ve quoted it here without attribution to the specific person because, honestly…if I was her and wrote this, I’d be embarrassed to have somebody make commentary on it. Besides, she sure could use a good editor. Meandering. Without cohesion. No end in sight. Reader, you’ll see bold italics where I think you’ll especially like to focus. In between, I’ll make snarky commentary. I do so love snarky commentary. RadFem: “After missing an entire night of sleep in the nightmare that was the Tuesday night US election results, I did manage to sleep last night. Although I was so tired at one point in the late afternoon, I found myself unable to construct a simple sentence at work…gripped in terror and rage and tempered by the icy cool knowledge that US men Continue reading RadFem Rant: Trump is a four-year frat party with nukes aimed at…women!

I’ll let you in on a little secret.

I’ve been overhearing some folks say, “Hillary got the popular vote, so why did she concede? Why didn’t she duke it out with The Donald?” If you’re a Liberal-type, your head may explode when I tell you why, so have some paper towels around to clean up the mess…or don’t read further. Secretly, in places she doesn’t let anybody see or is willing to admit she has, Ol’ Hill didn’t want the real job itself because, face it, she couldn’t even keep one server safe much less a couple of compounds in Benghazi. She knew the complicated country called America was way beyond her ability to run. Things would quickly go from bad to worse when she validated everybody’s feelings but quickly found out hard and unpopular decisions must be taken that only she would be responsible for. No wiggle room at the top, girlfriend! The buck stops at that desk Continue reading I’ll let you in on a little secret.

Hey, ummm…about last night’s Black Swan event

During a long and brutal campaign, the Media Elite, the Doms and Dominatrices of all things P.C., cackled gleefully with every missile sent Trump’s way, wagged their fingers self-righteously at his Basket of Deplorables, and merrily pointed to every mainstream, established, respected poll that confidently stated Trump was not only going to lose, he was going to lose big. Here’s a guy with an out-sized personality, rough-around-the-edges plain talker, and he won? It can’t be! Tears ran like blood on social media platforms. To make it through the night, anxiety reducing pills were thrown down throats, safe places were sought, white students on uber-liberal campuses set a few fires and whined about how unfair it all was. Then the next day came the insults from the losing side. Whites and blacks alike saying Trump’s election only proved the country they live in hates blacks, LGTBQs, Hispanics, and everybody else that isn’t white and just Continue reading Hey, ummm…about last night’s Black Swan event

Bruthas from another Mutha: Liberals, Socialists, Communists, and Radical Muslims

The know-it-all, self-righteous, Liberal P.C. Doms and Dominatrices only interact with the unfortunates when they want their vote, or their appreciative smile and their bobbed head and bent knee delivering a very public “thankee kindly, mum.” Otherwise, Liberals couldn’t, and wouldn’t be willing to, share a table with the great unwashed inside their fave chi-chi hangout — unless it was for a strategic photo op. After which the poor, unfortunate, stupid, lazy slob in need of saving would be quietly hustled out the back door with their dinner packed in a to-go box — extra bread included for their unfortunate spawn. Won’t the kiddies be so proud to open up the bag and see the bread from Chi-Chi? Oooh, extra fancy butter. Aren’t they sooo thoughtful and magnanimous? Children, we’re voting for them. See the butter? These are not new situations. You may enjoy reading this from 1877. In any case, I’ve Continue reading Bruthas from another Mutha: Liberals, Socialists, Communists, and Radical Muslims

“Oh, Baratunde, I’ll never wash my face(book) again.”

In the name of tough love, certain radical feminists have rained down curses upon Ivanka Trump’s business by asking for a boycott of her clothing line wherever it is sold. Of course, the New Yorker jumped all over that. Hey, it’s all about selling magazines and papers, or getting eyeballs online. I get it. Then Sir Baratunde Thurston decided to weigh in with what I saw as a thorough wasting of my valuable Facebook time. Sir Baratunde is a writer whose columns I always read — and valued — in Fast Company, a business magazine. So, I made a quick reply on that most egalitarian of social media platforms as ever existed. You can see it in the below screenshot. And you want to know what happened? Oh. My. Gosh! Who replied but the one and only Sir Baratunde, a business media personality, well known, and paid massive amounts of money to Continue reading “Oh, Baratunde, I’ll never wash my face(book) again.”

“What a way to go” now has new meaning.

Men who take stiffy-inducing drugs and then get melanoma can now sue. It’s true. The ads are all over TV. The latest reported side effect linked to Viagra (and other of those ED-types including Cialis) is an increased risk for melanoma. Men who take these for any of its recommended uses have legal rights if they develop this deadly skin cancer. So if the everlasting-stiffy and the loss of vision and hearing don’t kill you, hey, that innocuous black spot will. “What a way to go” now has new meaning. What caught my eye in this announcement was that if a man takes these drugs for any other use than what is recommended, then he cannot sue. The big question here is: What are the unrecommended uses for Viagra? So I researched it. I couldn’t find any unrecommended uses other than the long list of medicines one should not use at Continue reading “What a way to go” now has new meaning.

“We can make your [fillintheblank] go VIRAL! Sign here.”

The Internet is touted as that awesomely verdant wild place where viral events happen like evolutionists say the monkey changed into city-building man and the fish sprouted wings to see the waters in which it once swam. That is, viral events could not be planned or made to happen on the Internet. No way. No how. If anything went viral on the Internet, then it was truly by the vote of The People of the World Whose Will is All-Powerful but Truly Unknowable. Part of me wanted to believe that. Part of me wondered why it is my brilliant ideas never caught on. Part of me was willing to close my eyes and wish and hope. Then again… …another part called bull because the Internet is like the Wild West: You have to go there to see it. You have to have a weapon to survive the fight. Other people must be informed where the Continue reading “We can make your [fillintheblank] go VIRAL! Sign here.”

It’s a Camo, Camo, Camo, Camo World!

Or, how to become a citizen journalist and live to tell.  You may give a big shout out of thanks to Awesome Cousin Number One (ACNO), who said, “I know you will write about this” when she handed me an advertisement for camo his and hers wedding rings. Being the intrepid and ever-curious yet humorously serious citizen journalist it seems I’ve become, ACNO was absolutely correct in her statement and here I am writing about the subject. Of course, the first thing any intrepid and ever-curious yet humorously serious citizen journalist does when they begin to investigate is go to Google and type in a search phrase to confirm that what a source supplied can be independently verified. I will tell you that ACNO intel was true (see photographic proof below) — and then some. The then some comes from the fact that this intrepid and ever-curious yet humorously serious citizen journalist asked one of the important Continue reading It’s a Camo, Camo, Camo, Camo World!

A Lesson in Southern Business for Know-it-all Carpetbaggers

What do car dealership groups and the music business in the South have in common? Know-it-all carpetbaggers, that’s what. There was a time when “Go west, young man” was the call to opportunity and everybody flocked to Cali. These days the call is heard around the world, “Go to Atlanta!” For quite some many years I was embedded with a small but fast-growing regional car dealership group here in Atlanta. As a vendor, I worked closely with the CEO, management teams, and the front-line employees at corporate and the dealerships. (What I’m going to tell you about this group was and is not unique to them so I will not mention their name.) The dealer group’s department managers and employees were a rather stable bunch. I could count on them being there from one visit to the next. Their emails never bounced. They returned calls. They worked together as a Continue reading A Lesson in Southern Business for Know-it-all Carpetbaggers

Billy fell down and broke his crown

Billy Bush, part of the extended Bush family which includes certain professional politicians, was filmed doing what men do: Talking dirty about women they want to get frisky with, and bragging about gittensum — or admiring another man who got what he couldn’t. I do not have a problem with any of that as it is part of the DNA of men. Women talk about men the same way, so we have our own DNA making trouble for us, too. All that makes the world go ’round. What I’m finding particularly interesting about this whole situation is that the Media Elite privately is okay with this when it’s their buddies doing it. See, nobody was calling names in 2005 when The Donald and Billy were privately taped saying those things. Though it didn’t air (FCC rules and all that), no sanctions came down from NBC brass. But because of loyalties to Continue reading Billy fell down and broke his crown

You: Pass the tissues, please. Expert: You’re not sick.

This is a story about reliance on and unquestioning faith in experts and how that is killing business, including music.   Everybody in the room is sniffling and sneezing. Hacking coughs are heard throughout the room. They all have itchy, watery eyes. Temperatures are rising. With that description you might be tempted to say, “Hey, everybody in that room has the common cold.” And you might be right. Then again, maybe not. What if those same symptoms had three different causes but the only cure to be trotted out was the standard treatment for the common cold? What if one of those unknown causes meant at least three people in that room were going to die and two would be crippled for life if those particularly nasty causes were not identified? Take it further. Let’s say a doctor came in the room, glanced around and said, “Common cold. Aspirin, cough medicine, and bed rest. Continue reading You: Pass the tissues, please. Expert: You’re not sick.