Sooooo…I’ve got this friend…

I’ve got this friend. A woman. I’ll call her “Liz.” Liz didn’t marry until her late thirties. The divorce came at the end of the first decade of marriage. She became what is known as a serial dater; a member of many online dating sites. But not from choice. See, she’s a romantic at heart. She believes in true love. She believes in that one and only. The knight in shining armor. Who’ll love her, only her. That she can love deeply, sincerely, thoroughly. Thus her dating has been full of adventures, some wonderful. But most with high hopes dashed on the cruel rocks of expectations postponed. I’m over at Liz’s house one day when she says “I’ve broken up with LBF-Q*.” She hangs her head, slumps her shoulders, and rolls her eyes when she says it. That told me all I needed to know about her expectations and his inability Continue reading Sooooo…I’ve got this friend…

The Old Worker Bee

The old worker bee landed on her back in the pool almost in front of me. Her little legs were kicking but her wings were stuck to the water and there was nothing she could do to save herself. I was in the middle of doing my morning laps but stopped my exercise and saved her little stinger from drowning. Using a leaf to scoop, I placed her on the edge of the pool and turned her, wings up. Her color was not the vibrant depth you would expect from a worker bee. Her color was a very pale, almost sickly, yellow. She went through various contortions in what I thought was a drying-off routine. First her legs were shaken, then her wings, of which one seemed to be missing but then I discovered it was stuck to her body. She next did a headstand (maybe to drain the water from the map Continue reading The Old Worker Bee

First-World Perk: Job Creation, Capitalist Style.

Here’s a first-world perk for you. Snowball, Mouser, Princess, and Ginger. Brody, Big Boy, Darla Mae, and Clutch. And who can forget dearly departed Fluffy in the urn on the mantle next to her picture? Add a bottle of Fluffy Coke and, O. M. G. The possibilities increase exponentially. Just imagine the boost to the Coca-Cola Company’s bottom line. Why, they would not be able to keep up with demand if pet names were put on their bottles of Coke***. But it would go further. Overwhelming product demand would necessitate the company hire more in every department. Heck, I could see an entire department set up just for the roll-out of the new product line. So that would mean at least four of each at Corporate in Accounting and Order Processing. Then the local store marketing guys who build those awesome displays. Each area would have to employ at least two more of them Continue reading First-World Perk: Job Creation, Capitalist Style.

He who would be fooled. Baby Doll would be amused.

“My ego is not tied up in my car,” said the high-flying executive on the fast track in his company. “I could drive an old beater and it wouldn’t bother me.” I simply nodded my head because how do you tell a man he has fooled himself? You can’t. Well, you can, but it often doesn’t work. Especially when he’s jangling keys to his brand new and loaded-to-the-gills Benzie and he’s pointing out the window wanting you to notice it. I had hoped Tim (not even close to his real name) would get to the reason for our meeting, but he took my silence as a challenge. I didn’t jump all over his statement like an eager acolyte rubber stamping his “I’m one of the little people” attitude, so he felt compelled to keep talking about his ego and how unpretentious he was. He said he pretty much forced himself to drive a Continue reading He who would be fooled. Baby Doll would be amused.

United Network Command for Law and Enforcement

Did you know the credits at the end of The Man From U.N.C.L.E. state: “We wish to thank the United Network Command for Law and Enforcement for their assistance”? So they thank themselves. That’s awesome. Ain’t bragging if it’s fact. I especially liked the yellow triangle badges with employee numbers on them. Mr. Waverly, their boss, was 1. Iliya was 2 and Solo was 11. Never saw an UNCLE badge with more than two numbers on it. Of course, THRUSH badges (yes, with a bird) had numbers that went into the three digits. One particularly lovely and efficient THRUSH agent was 897. She wore glasses and operated the computer. The badge numbering makes it obvious that U.N.C.L.E. was Libertarian because they believe in small government, and nimble, gitterdun attitudes that actually solved a problem. Whereas THRUSH (The Technological Hierarchy for the Removal of Undesirables and the Subjugation of Humanity) was obviously Democrat Continue reading United Network Command for Law and Enforcement

Liar, liar, pants on fire:

Liar, liar, pants on fire, Mr. Blumenthal. Funny how those fake stories can bite you in the butt. Yes, in this world are a lot of elephants with long memories. They never forget a liar, especially one who claims he served in one of the most controversial wars in the world — the Vietnam War. Lou Davis, a friend from my social dancing circle and himself a Vietnam veteran, will especially like my story I shall now relate here. So, there I am, out one night, when a man approaches and asks me to dance. As a good social dancer does, I accept, and out we go to the dance floor to dance to my favorite cover band, GLOW the Showband. First, the man had no rhythm. Second, he didn’t know how to hold a woman’s hands during the dance thereby causing me to have to remove my twisted fingers from his clutches. These are things you Continue reading Liar, liar, pants on fire:

Twitter shadow-banning update

This Twitter shadow-banning update should interest the company. See, their data service upsells don’t work for me because they are already manipulating my tweets against my will. [Read the first in this series here.] So why pay for something they won’t let me use as I wish? But today I have even bigger proofs Twitter is shadow-banning me just like they are shadow-banning Scott Adams, Dilbert’s creator. In this series of pictures below, you can see (1) I composed a tweet, attached a photo, and tagged Twitter and eight others (see the list); (2) it is tweeted but with only five showing as tagged, missing four; and (3) you can see who the “two others” are that remained tagged. But it gets worse. Yes, it does. A few minutes later that entire tweet (wherein I called out Twitter on these practices of theirs) was no longer showing on my main Tweet timeline. A few Continue reading Twitter shadow-banning update

Twitter: Shadow-banning?

I am not a liberal and Twitter doesn’t like it. Twitter: Why the shadow-banning? Highly suspected since January of 2017, I had nothing concrete to show for it except that fewer and fewer were interacting with me; my follower count has stayed level for about two years. If one joins, one leaves. Very weird. (Dilbert comic strip creator Scott Adams writes about his shadow-banning here.) Around mid-April 2017, I tagged the U.S. Prez in a tweet along with three others, one being my friend who lives near me. She came over and I asked if she saw the tweet I tagged her in. She was excited and pulled up her Twitter account on her smart phone. That tweet wasn’t there and she got no notification she was mentioned. So I went to my Twitter account to show her, and there I saw my tweet but without her, the president, or the other two mentioned. So, I retweeted Continue reading Twitter: Shadow-banning?

Gloom, despair, and agony on me?

Kumbaya is real — until the uniting True Believer is assassinated. Gloom, despair, and agony become watchwords of Forces Dark who undo all the good work and want us to feel bad about everything. Forces Dark want us ripe for manipulation. Like all good undercover operatives, Forces Dark are sneaky about it. They say they only want to help because they care so very…very…very-very deeply. Interesting thing is, the problems they want to solve had true believers as the first faces of it — they pretend to support True Believer. True believers are a problem for Forces Dark and suddenly find themselves assassinated by a triple-named lone gunmen. School children are taught about the evil man who assassinated our hero. Years pass and what do we find? Why, we find out the people truly responsible for the now-iconic True Believer’s dramatic death are in the inner circle of the faithful. But these Judases Continue reading Gloom, despair, and agony on me?

Manilow and WFHRG: Self-Identify, Privilege Guilt.

Dear People Magazine, I want to thank you for taking over 40 years to officially announce that Barry Manilow was not heterosexual. I knew it way back in the 70s — and it was clear he felt guilty about it. And look, if I knew it and I was just a kid, then surely his grown-up fans knew it, too. In these games everybody seems to playing, Self-Identify is connected to something called Privilege Guilt. So I now shall self-identify publicly to you and hope you don’t wait 40 years to let people know the truth. I want to make a clean breast of it. This is very important, so please don’t ignore me. Here I go: I self-identify as female, heterosexual, rich, and a genius. What that means is that when I go to any of the top college campuses, I will have to apologize when I use the male bathroom. That’s right. I Continue reading Manilow and WFHRG: Self-Identify, Privilege Guilt.

Angela Answers Job Interview Questions from Hell

Job interview questions from hell deserve the answers they get. I’ve never had an easy time finding jobs that match my abilities. There are very good reasons for that and explains why I was able to make more money by starting my own business. When applying for jobs, questions I get asked never get answers expected by interviewers. They don’t know what to do with my answers. But here, for your amusement, are my answers to those job interview questions from hell recently reported on by that friendly megalithic employer called MSN. I advise the reader to understand that I do not lie. That is, in my novels I might make up stories, and in my satirical columns I may stretch the truth, but when it comes to me, I do not lie. Granted, I may not always tell the whole truth — when you read below you will understand why. Continue reading Angela Answers Job Interview Questions from Hell

An Editor’s Prayer for a “Commas Gone Wild” kind of day

An Editor’s Prayer for this FB “Commas Gone Wild!” kind of day. Let us pray. Dear Almighty Heavenly Father, I beg you to help me remain calm when I see commas — commas that you created, Father, by implication if not by direct hand — misused in such profoundly incorrect of a fashion as I am seeing on this here man-made site called Facebook. And Lord, you would think such a site with ‘book’ in its name would have an algorithm that would correct such egregious comma usage just like it identifies fake news so well, but no, dear Father. It. Does. Not.   Father, I am doing all in my power to remain as ladylike as possible in my commentary, but when one sees sentences such as these (pictured to your left), then you know, my dear Daddy, that I am calling upon my higher power to help me refrain Continue reading An Editor’s Prayer for a “Commas Gone Wild” kind of day

In response to a young student

This young fellow is a college student who, whether or not he knows it, is conflicted. He was raised in an era where everybody began to measure their responses by whether or not someone was around who would attack them should their comment be misconstrued. Would he be accused of being a racist if he asked for a black ink pen instead of an African-American pen? Would he have to defend himself against the RadFem he simply automatically held a door open for? He does not understand that Trump is not totalitarian, either. I happen to know this young man. He means well. He hasn’t a bad bone in his body. He hates injustice. He wants everybody just to get along. He’s going to be a fine writer one day. By “one day” I do not mean he isn’t a good writer now. He’s got the chops for it. I’ve read Continue reading In response to a young student

Illegal Trump wiretapping, or How do you eat an elephant?

The big story of the day: Illegal Trump wiretapping. When you understand that most Republicans now in office are Democrats, then you will know why the Republicans say they can’t find any evidence of wiretapping. These are RINOs: Republicans in Name Only. They say there is no court order anywhere about Trump’s wiretapping! No kidding. That’s why it is illegal. You know the old joke: How do you eat an elephant? Trump knows how. That was his strategy to get elected — and it worked. This new president has shed light on the real problem: It’s a fight over State rights and Constitutional rights with the RINOs and Dems on the same side. Using PC Politics disseminated through the university system via professors who do not tolerate any student disagreeing with them and who do, in point of fact, terrorize with threat of failing any who persist in disagreeing with them, the Continue reading Illegal Trump wiretapping, or How do you eat an elephant?

Galileo Galilei: Dissing God or unmasking gods?

Galileo Galilei said faith is not truth. Was he dissing God when he dared to question the certainty of Church fathers’ faith? In any case, their heads exploded. We learned in school that Galileo dared to say the Earth was not the center of the Universe. Church leaders went on a full-out 15th century social media smear campaign against this man of faith. Claiming he was teaching falsehoods and dissing God in the process, the Church declared an official Inquisitorial commission meant to shut down the debate once and for all time within those hallowed walls and around the world. In writing they said that the Earth rotating around the Sun was — “foolish and absurd in philosophy, and formally heretical since it explicitly contradicts in many places the sense of Holy Scripture” and that the idea of the Earth’s movement “receives the same judgement in philosophy and… in regard to theological truth Continue reading Galileo Galilei: Dissing God or unmasking gods?

Illegal Immigrants are the new indentured slaves

Illegal Immigrants are the new indentured slaves much adored by liberals who march in the streets and so-called experts who warn of dire consequences to our lifestyle if illegals go away. Quoted in newspapers from Britain (Who’ll pick our taters?) to Canada (Who’ll pick our maters?”) to the U.S. (Who’ll stock our shelves, build our houses, and pick our maters and taters and lettuce?”), it seems first-world countries sure do like their slaves. And its all the liberals and so-called progressives who want them. Of course, the current president, Donald “The Hammer” Trump, gets all the blame for this. Yet every time Obama even slightly enforced immigration laws, why here would come reports of vast fields of perfectly fine crops rotting on the vines. Not that anybody blamed Obama because he was just the coolest president ever. In other words, crops rotting in fields because of slave shortages is nothing new. Even after the Civil War, Continue reading Illegal Immigrants are the new indentured slaves

LEMoNS control what people think

The media’s job is to control what people think? What? Is Mika Brzezinski buttering Morning Joe’s bread? Their coworkers think so. But this Citizen Journalist is not in the inner circle (thank goodness) so she cannot confirm the rumor. Still, the co-hosts of MSNBC’s #8-ranked cable news show seem to be awfully agreeable onscreen. However, hanky-panky between the sheets is not the point of this article, and if it is wuv-twu-wuv, we wish them well. But they do think alike, taking their insulting message straight to the airwaves: The media’s job is to control what people think. I kid you not. Don’t believe that’s what they really said? Watch this video. Yes, God in heaven, they believe the little stupid people get confused by hearing more than one version of a story and need the brilliant minds of the Liberal Elite Media of National Standing (or LEMoNS) to translate for us. Mika, Joe, and Continue reading LEMoNS control what people think

Names, Tags, Numbers, Labels

Names, Tags, Numbers, Labels: Albert Hammond wrote the song with that title. [A YouTube video of Hammond singing it live is at the end. You’ll like it.] The Association also covered the song beautifully. I posted a tweet about one situation in which names and labels got a daycare chain in Texas in trouble. But was it really the local branch’s fault? Methinks not. The Children’s Courtyard is owned and operated by Learning Care Group, the second largest for-profit early childhood educator in North America. According to their website, the company has over 18 thousand employees in 900 U.S.-based schools serving more than 130 thousand children from six weeks to 13 years. Hiring is handled at the corporate level. And that is how Nancy Salem — a hater of Jews (a home-grown radical Islamist Muslim?) — got through the corporate hiring process in order to teach little kiddies of the good folks Continue reading Names, Tags, Numbers, Labels

Frederick Douglass: Dissent and higher purpose.

FREDERICK DOUGLASS “West India Emancipation” speech, 1857 If there is no struggle there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground, they want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, and it may be both moral and physical, but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Frederick Douglass understood struggle and dissent must have a purpose. In other words, he knew one does not plow without following up with planting. He understood rain must come to water the seed. We now know lightning produces chemical changes plants need and the role the ocean’s roaring waters plays to benefit our shared home is Continue reading Frederick Douglass: Dissent and higher purpose.

The Hashtag Wars

The Hashtag Wars were joined on February 13, 2017, when Meetup.com sent customers a highly-partisan political letter*. The #Resist email came with a splashy GIF hitting all the buzzwords that make caring liberals swoon: Education. Women’s Rights. Sustainability. Refugees. Healthcare. Equality. Human Rights. And Democracy. Full disclosure: I am a Meetup member (five groups) and love the service. Because of Meetup I have been able to find people with similar interests in a host of topics that interest me, as well as see things near me I had no clue were available. Tis awesome. So, let me congratulate Meetup.com’s co-founders, Scott Heiferman (CEO) and Brendan McGovern (CFO), on the success of their idea. To further emphasize the talent of their team, we come to the deployment of a brilliant ad campaign in disguise. This is said not to minimize the sincerity of motive in this recent rollout of the 1,000+ company-sponsored #Resist meetup groups, but to point Continue reading The Hashtag Wars

Harridan or Sex Kitten? Oh, the pressure!

Harridan or sex kitten, or something else? Throughout my life many have categorized me. This categorization always follows the same pattern. “You’re exactly this, Angela,” they say.  For various reasons — and for many years — I twisted myself into everything I wasn’t. Every now and then, when the real Angela would peek through, I would become often hated, always despised. Of course, the question was why? Why could these people show themselves for what they really were and I accepted them, but they could not do the same for me? I struggled with that question for many years. Eventually — after watching and thinking and comparing all the many different types of friends from every background, religion, and economic strata you can name — I made an astounding discovery. The problem wasn’t me. The problem was them. Specifically… …they were intolerant, limited in their ability to cope with differences of others. Continue reading Harridan or Sex Kitten? Oh, the pressure!

No limits illusion bites Hillary in the butt

As you can see in the above Google Search screenshot, it is popular in this Madison Avenue, sound-bite-driven world — where only those at the top, top, top of their game are used in ad campaigns — to tout a belief in no limits. Why, just take a look at all those folks with no arms and legs. See them racing down the ski slope? Running on the beach? Jumping hurdles? Winning, winning, winning? And how did they do that? That’s right! They don’t believe in limitations. Those ads imply other mortals out there that say we can’t do those things, why we’re just stupid, lazy, don’t want “It” bad enough, or are willing to settle for mediocrity. No matter how many times we bump up against limitations, the real problem is our thinking, they say. A popularly quoted Bible scripture, often attributed to Shakespeare, says “Thinking makes it so.” Never mind that the Continue reading No limits illusion bites Hillary in the butt

Nagging women and clueless men: A tale from social media

Nagging women and clueless men. A generalization that never goes out of style because at its core it’s true. Full disclosure: I’ve danced with this man. He’s a comedian. He makes funny on stage and as an MC and other places. (Gallery of pictures as proof at bottom of this article. Yes, you will enjoy seeing Bo Mack Micadelic getting his groove on.) How that dance opportunity came to be is a story illustrating the differences between how men and women communicate and process information. Maybe I’ll tell it today. Maybe I’ll save it as a teaser for another day. Tease. After all, that’s what we women do best, right? I’ve written extensively — and, chuckle, stimulatingly — about this subject for the layman wherein I summarize scientific research and market research reports, and in rock-’em-sock-’em novels fictionalize stories I see all around me thereby telling the whole truth, the bigger truth. I’m writing further about it today Continue reading Nagging women and clueless men: A tale from social media

Meryl’s missed opportunity to show courage

Meryl’s missed opportunity for being a true social justice warrior came on the eve of the Golden Globe’s awarding her the Cecil B. Demille Award. If Streep had truly wanted to be courageous, she should have taken a page from the Marlon Brando’s “How To Turn Down an Award With Style: A Playbook for Coddled Actors” and sent a handicapped person to deliver a speech in support of all other such handicapped people who get abused. Instead, Streep fell for the old McGuffin play. Viewers were not happy that Brando sent a Native American woman to deliver a rant about the film industry’s treatment of Native American’s, who then refused on his behalf his Oscar for The Godfather. But I can tell you this: With time, viewers came to respect him for it because he stood up against the very industry that fed him. Streep didn’t do that. Streep encouraged Liberal bullies Continue reading Meryl’s missed opportunity to show courage

This is why the Electoral College is so important

Your answer will depend on whether or not you are — at heart and in spirit, mind you — a Capitalist or a Socialist. I saw this picture on a popular social feed where you can post answers longer than 140 characters and you can be friends. When I saw the first explanation — ANSWER ONE: The shop lost $100. $70 in merchandise + $30 in change — I replied with a logical math equation: Original $100 stolen + $70 in stolen merch + $30 shop owner handed over in change + shipping to get merch there, inventory and stocking costs for merch that is eventually stolen + time to report the theft and go to court should (please, God) the perp be found + additional security measures paid for by the shop owner = Lost a whole lot more than most people think. REPLY FROM ORIGINAL POSTER: I’m not Continue reading This is why the Electoral College is so important

Liberal Hypocrisy: Caving to it. Standing up against it.

This story is about Liberal hypocrisy and, by extension, those who do and don’t cave to it’s pressures. I was reading an online story update from the MSM about the Trump Inauguration and the saga of booking performers for the party. One 16-year-old girl slated to perform, Jackie Evancho, has been selling out her album after agreeing to perform. Andrea Bocelli, on the other hand, wanted to perform but turned it down after Liberals ganged up on him and threatened #BoycottBocelli.  The writer included tweets from others as proof of his premise that Everybody Hates Trump! One of the quoted tweets proceeded to bash The Rockettes for being on the lineup. He was quite mean for no good reason and said he would not ever go see one of their shows ever again. I asked him why he was so upset about Trump’s party since, having declared a hatred of Trump Continue reading Liberal Hypocrisy: Caving to it. Standing up against it.

Faith is not truth

Faith is not truth. It’s a tough day for an honest man when a closely held belief bumps up against an opposing truth. For everyone else, that doesn’t seem to matter. Contrary to popular opinion having faith in anything does not mean that thing is true, accurate, or even real. From ancient philosophers to Middle Ages scientists to modern-day exponents, there are those who believe the earth is flat. As other examples of the fact that closely held beliefs do not equate to truth, we have Global Warming. Renamed Climate Change to better accommodate inconvenient-but-real truths while still maintaining its ability to generate power and control for the chosen few. (Think Al Gore and his fraudulent carbon credit scheme.) Or that Gender always equals suitability for a purpose. (Think We’re For Her! get out the vote slogan advocating a female for president solely based on the politically correct bullcrap that it’s time we had a woman in the White Continue reading Faith is not truth

Newton’s third law: Yanking Chains

Newton’s third law says that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. The statement means that in every interaction a pair of forces act on two interacting objects. The size of the force on the first object equals the size of the force on the second object. Until these objects interact it is difficult to gauge the force either carries. Newton’s third law explains a lot of human interaction. Case in point: I was on my front door balcony the other day when school let out. Two young boys in my neighborhood made their way home. What caught my attention was the application of Newton’s third law in their interaction. As each went to their separate homes, it went like this: First Boy: Nananabooboo. Second Boy: SHUT UP! First Boy: Nananabooboo. Second Boy: SHUT UP! First Boy: Nananabooboo. Second Boy: SHUT UP! First Boy: Nananabooboo. Second Boy: SHUT UP! First Boy: Nananabooboo. Second Boy: SHUT UP! First Boy: Nananabooboo. Second Continue reading Newton’s third law: Yanking Chains

Darkness: My enemy, my friend

I adore darkness. Dark walls and curtains. Dark clothes and places. Dark songs and stories. When surrounded by darkness punctuated with bright small pools of light, I function quite well. I function well, that is, except during December when the sun isn’t around so much. When round-the-clock inclement weather further darken what sun there is. When the twinkle of holiday lights, so joyful for so many, harken flashbacks of evil and dark thoughts of despair. When casually thrown Merry Christmases and Happy Holidays hit me like a bunker buster. During such a time I am without hope, cannot generate a smile, don’t want to go in public, everyone hates me, no one loves me, no one cares for me, I am stupid, worthless, useless, and an idiot. This happens every year so you’d think I would be used to it, could plan for it. But no! I’m not and I don’t. Every year I am surprised. Continue reading Darkness: My enemy, my friend

Pooping in your nest: MTV’s white male video debacle

Opinions are like excrement download portals (EDP): Everyone has one but that doesn’t mean that what comes out of it you would want to roll around in. MTV spouted just such an EDP opinion when they released this video (included here in an opinion piece): The backlash was so fast and unexpected that within 48 hours MTV privatized their own YouTube video. As of this moment writing this article, I could not find any official statement from MTV on this video. Which might not be a bad thing. You see, sometimes it’s better to keep your mouth shut and let everybody think you’re an idiot than to open it and remove all doubt. Therefore, this Citizen Journalist can only surmise that somebody high up in Corporate has shut down the video, and everyone involved in putting it together and green lighting the project is now in an office with their tails between Continue reading Pooping in your nest: MTV’s white male video debacle