It took a radical feminist only 460 words to tell her Facebook friends how scared the Trump win made her. I’ve quoted it here without attribution to the specific person because, honestly…if I was her and wrote this, I’d be embarrassed to have somebody make commentary on it. Besides, she sure could use a good editor. Meandering. Without cohesion. No end in sight. Reader, you’ll see bold italics where I think you’ll especially like to focus. In between, I’ll make snarky commentary. I do so love snarky commentary.
RadFem: “After missing an entire night of sleep in the nightmare that was the Tuesday night US election results, I did manage to sleep last night. Although I was so tired at one point in the late afternoon, I found myself unable to construct a simple sentence at work…gripped in terror and rage and tempered by the icy cool knowledge that US men really hate us so profoundly that they will turn every part of the US government into a harrowing world-wide frat party for the next four years at least. A frat party with nuclear codes and all weapons aimed at females both here in the States and around the world.”
Angela’s Snarky Commentary: Hey, RadFem, besides the fact that I was horrified when both Bill Clinton and Obama were elected, I did not have a problem constructing simple sentences. I slept A-OK, too. Also, unless all the women just happen to have moved to a remote island, I think the nukes will get the men, too, so I’m not rightly sure how this so-called four-year anti-woman frat party with nuclear codes and all weapons is going to play out as your scenario has already broken down.
RadFem: “I want to thank all the women from all over the globe, from the States and locally who offered love, escape plans and locales, empathy and acknowledgement of the tragedy that has befallen vulnerable American women and children—and the world. We are in danger, indeed. There is no minimizing, or ‘it will be okay,’ or denying, or ‘just wait and see what happens’ about this nightmare. Fascism has begun. How do I respond?”
Angela’s Snarky Commentary: Hey, RadFem, I’ve heard of pandering, but my gosh, you’ve beat everybody I’ve ever heard and you did it in the worst overly emotive, incoherent paragraph I’ve ever seen. However, I will point out to you that you are Fascist and that the current election is the opposite of that. But, you know that. You’re just playing to your constituency.
RadFem: “Action is required. Sustained and strategic action is required. I am taking the next few days, weeks to decide if I am staying in the States. I do ‘escape’ very, very well and I want to make sure that I am not using a fallback response without full consideration. I am not sure that I am truly being called to fight back. But if I am, it may well be to my death. That is not melodrama. That is a potential material reality. The material realities of women’s lives matter more than the fucking Dow Jones or trade agreements—no matter what some claim.”
Angela’s Snarky Commentary: Hey, RadFem, I apologize. I called the previous paragraph “the worst overly emotive, incoherent paragraph I’ve ever seen.” I admit it here: I was wrong because this paragraph has the previous one beat to high heaven. You’ve managed to hit every buzzword designed to invoke fear in women unable to think for themselves and therefore easily manipulated (also known as pussies) and — might I opine here? — keep the donations flowing your way. Just to clarify: Yes, yes it melodrama. Energy draining melodrama.
RadFem: “And the first action that is required is thanking the wonderful women who have been supportive and kind to me in my political and emotional evisceration. Thank you. You have sustained me. I do not know what comes next. I have no idea how I can blunt the oncoming terrors or even where I will do that from—but I do know that I am grateful for the women who have been kind to me in this dark turn of events. And, yes, even the ones who have differing positions.”
Angela’s Snarky Commentary: Hey, RadFem, the amount of boldness and courage it took to take that first action — thanking wonderful women — well, it just humbles the hell out me. I’ve never seen more bravery under fire than you’ve just demonstrated. In any case, no matter where you go, Facebook is there for you. In fact, your brand of terror fits within their P.C. narrative, so your location is safe from those hunting you down. Not that anybody’s hunting you down. Well, there was that old boyfriend who — again, if I might opine? — you probably drove to violence with your incessant rants against his kind. Maybe if he’d only been better in bed and boinked your brains out, well maybe we wouldn’t have to be reading “the worst overly emotive, incoherent paragraph I’ve ever seen.”
RadFem: “I am taking it easy as my ability to coalesce thoughts and analysis returns. Yesterday, I was nearly mute with terror, unable to speak about things that I know as well as my own name. I will be around, but slowly, gently. Please be as kind to each other as you have been to me. It is critical for all of us. And thank you from the bottom of my broken heart.”
Angela’s Snarky Commentary: Hey, RadFem, your nearly mute is not mute enough for me. Besides, in a time of war, which you have said you are in, I don’t think slow and gentle healing is the solution to the war. It would seem to be that bold and decisive action is needed. In fact, I believe you called for action above, but that action seems to be the sort where man-hating females sit around a drum circle drinking tea and whining and otherwise being supportive. Not one decent plan in sight. God, this is so frustrating. No wonder your ranks are dwindling.