In the interests of greater and clearer opportunities for letting one’s feelings be known, Facebook launched a new emoji pack. To the previous Like-only option, they added Love, Laugh, Wow, Sad, and Angry. This has done nothing to help this reporter better understand reactions to her writings. Case in point: This post of mine. Please note the emoji choices my friends made.
Understand, I know all these people in real life. I like them. They like me. We have no issues. None are stalking me or wishing me dead, and vice versa. In other words, it’s all good. On this post I see Like, Sad, and Angry. Like is clear. But Sad? Angry? As a good reporter will, I clicked on the emoji bar to see who was Sad and who was Angry. Here’s where the conundrum begins. 
My friend T— R— was Sad. S— S— was Angry. But was T— sad that I posted this comment? Was she disappointed in me? Or was this her way of agreeing and her emotion concerning the subject of drama queens made her sad? Or is she a drama queen (I’ve never seen that in her) and thinks I’m insulting her?
What about my friend S—? Is he angry with me that I insulted our mutual friend T—? Or is he angry at drama queens and still loves me?
Dear reader, do you see the problem?
Before, with just the Like button, one succinctly knew where one stood. Other replies could be added, of course, and no replies meant I went about my daily life in blissful ignorance, ego stroked or deflated depending on the Like count showing. But now!
For all the good these other emoji choices do, Facebook might as well have made just one more emoji in addition to Like: An electric cattle prod.
I spend my days locked into worry about what my friends’ true meanings are.
If I was a young person, I would say this is not an issue. But I’ve worried myself into early forehead wrinkles aging 10 years since the addition of the enhanced and expanded emoji edition. For someone my age (which is none of your beeswax, BTW) this is not a good thing as the buffer period to old age has shortened.
We’ll chat later. I’ve got to go cream up my forehead. 
