Tag Archives: expectations

Sooooo…I’ve got this friend…

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I’ve got this friend. A woman. I’ll call her “Liz.” Liz didn’t marry until her late thirties. The divorce came at the end of the first decade of marriage. She became what is known as a serial dater; a member of many online dating sites. But not from choice. See, she’s a romantic at heart. She believes in true love. She believes in that one and only. The knight in shining armor. Who’ll love her, only her. That she can love deeply, sincerely, thoroughly. Thus her dating has been full of adventures, some wonderful. But most with high hopes dashed on the cruel rocks of expectations postponed. I’m over at Liz’s house one day when she says “I’ve broken up with LBF-Q*.” She hangs her head, slumps her shoulders, and rolls her eyes when she says it. That told me all I needed to know about her expectations and his inability Continue reading Sooooo…I’ve got this friend…→

Working Alone: A DIY/Indie Creative’s Lot in Life

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“Too many cooks spoil the dish.” Creatives instinctively know the truthfulness of this. Wisely, though lonely, they squirrel themselves away in order to focus on the vision. Sometimes the loneliness can be overwhelming and we cry out, “Where, oh where, is anybody who cares?” Personally? I love working within a team environment. It’s nice to have people with whom to celebrate the successful conclusion to a project. As a DIY/Indie creative, though, I find most of my work begins, continues, and ends alone. For my books and music — sure, of course — editors, musicians, singers, production, and so forth, come into play. But these are usually work for hire whose only interest in the project is to do a thing for this amount of money. In other words, they are not part of the project as a stakeholder. And nothing wrong with that. I do the same thing when I Continue reading Working Alone: A DIY/Indie Creative’s Lot in Life→

Talk about a fearsome journey

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Everybody will tell you that to be successful, you find a need and fill it. So, yeah. I did that. Of all things, in the music business.  How I found that need was because it was my own. Pure frustration at the lack of organization or a common basis for documentation and communication within a mature industry was anathema to me. I came up with a simple, technology based method to improve both those and, possibly, save an industry. Big thoughts these were, but I had them nonetheless. What everybody doesn’t tell you is that just because a need is defined and the method to fill it is offered, does not in any way mean others will use it immediately. So, the long view comes into play. The long view takes patience and faith. The long view is not easy. I can think of others with a long view. Churchill Continue reading Talk about a fearsome journey→

Which are you? Part of the Solution or Part of the Problem?

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Having read the previous blog, let’s get into it. Your hanky is handy, right? There are a few select investors and international companies whose money is tied up in selling magic snake oil to content creators. What is that snake oil? Let’s see if we can ascertain that from these sample headlines, shall we? “CDs ARE DEAD! ALBUMS ARE PASSE!” “STREAMING IS GOD! SINGLES ARE KING!” When I read an article with those conclusions, I ask myself if that writer has been hired to enthusiastically encourage those beliefs or if he is a dupe. Moving on. Suffice it to say, I am not the only one calling BS on those headlines. The problem though, is something I run into time after time after time of consultation sessions with artists, DIY/Indies, and singer/songwriters, and when talking with other content creators/owners/marketers in the music business: Content creators and performers sign up and upload everything without reading the contracts. “But, Angela,” they whine, Continue reading Which are you? Part of the Solution or Part of the Problem?→

Challenges are not bad

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Get the book by Angela K. Durden by Clicking Here   Email Angela here: angeladurden[at]gmail[dot]com Challenges are not bad in and of themselves. Some can be, true. But others are opportunities from improvements, and when met make us better people adding high value to the communities in which we live, the customer which we serve, and the businesses which we grow. I am tired of people complaining about things that are not real problems. Such as: Waiting in a line a little longer than expected to get a hamburger. Someone who didn’t set the alarm clock and overslept raging against other drivers as if his being late is their fault.  Traffic jams that happen everyday at the same time. Accusing people of rubbernecking when they are only slowing to safely pass an accident and rescue workers. Here’s an old poem that sums up the challenge of our own attitude. I’ve always loved it. It Continue reading Challenges are not bad→

Subtexts-Part Two: My Own Worst Enemy

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Friends send links to success stories and the first thing I do is begin a negative questioning my own path. Have I not been working hard enough? Am I simply untalented? Shall I quit now? I am my own worst enemy. Why I do I do this? Why do I assume the worst about myself? Why do I always assume failure is imminent? Is it easier to expect certain failure than to embrace possible success? It seems so. So I examined my emotional response to success and found an interesting. I would be happy with success, but how dare I be happy when [fill in the name of someone else] is not? I brought this up to several people who, surprisingly, said they too had experienced the same thing. I asked, “Do you find that this person you’re so worried about, would they be happy for you to make a success of something?” Continue reading Subtexts-Part Two: My Own Worst Enemy→

Subtexts-Part One: Should I Give Up?

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Friends have been sending me a link that tells the story about a guy “you’ve never heard of”, but seems to live in some northern, cold, European country (where the furniture is sleek), and who worked his tail off (as well he should), and for the past twenty years has written ALL the worlds biggest hits. First of all, no, he has not written all the worlds biggest hits, though he has written quite a few. Okay. Second of all, yay for him. I would love that to happen to me, too. It’s called monetizing. By now, though, you know me. So when I get to reading such a story I also get to thinking about the subtext and I wonder why my friends are sending it to me. Do they want me to think that with hard work and application to my fledgling talent, there could go I? Did Continue reading Subtexts-Part One: Should I Give Up?→

What’s the Diff?

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What is the difference between self-promotion and a big mouth? What is the difference between stating facts and bragging? It’s the reason behind it. It’s the motivation for it. Number One, self-promotion and facts, are meant to tell the world about what you have to offer. Number Two, big mouths and bragging, are meant to elevate self by demeaning others. Number One is positive. Number Two is negative. Number One draws together. Number Two divides. Number One influences for good. Number Two influences for bad. Number One seeks to put a smile on a face. Number Two leaves a sour taste in the mouth. Number One seeks good for self and is happy when others experience good. Number Two seeks good for self and hates it when others experience good. Number One celebrates all success. Number Two condemns when it isn’t their success. We all know some Number Two’s, don’t Continue reading What’s the Diff?→

What is Your Rope?

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1. Get a baby elephant. 2. Tie a big rope around a hind leg. 3. Attach big rope to very solid and heavy object. 4. Wait. Naturally, Baby elephant will pull against the rope, but baby elephant is not strong, soon tires, naps, and tries again and again and again and again. Same result. Can’t get loose. Can’t move the object. So what is it we all know about elephants? We all know elephants never forget. Soon, baby elephant stops trying to get loose from the rope because the rope is stronger than he. Baby matures into full-grown elephant and never forgets. But grown elephant is wrong. He is stronger than the rope. But he’s learned his lesson well. He can’t get loose from the rope. His expectation of the power of the rope is so big that it doesn’t even need to be a big rope any more. It’s a Continue reading What is Your Rope?→